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Last Updated: Sep 9, 2008 - 2:11:40 PM |
The history of the Porkchop Scarelane as read from the back of GMP box art!
An
insurance salesman, just outside of Atlanta in late 1967, purchased an
ordinary Fairlane. The big block powered Ford served as a daily driver
for about 4 years making trips to the grocery store and daily commutes
to the office.
One day the owner left it running in front of a
service station while buying the morning newspaper. Two misguided
youths saw an opportunity and pulled out a gun. They robbed the service
station, stole the awaiting Fairlane and made a fast getaway. The car
was found a week later in very bad shape, badly dented, 2 flat tires
and a blown motor.
The owner, devastated, towed the ol’
Ford home where it sat in his backyard for many years. Over time, the
car became a home for family of squirrels; target practice for young
kids wielding sharp stones, and fell victim to a large patch of Kudzu.
One
day, in response to an ad for a 1967 Ford Fairlane, the car was sold.
For a mere $500 an interesting fellow we all know as Pork Chop was now
the new owner! Pork Chop took the Fairlane back to his shop where it
sat for about another year until he could figure out what to do with it.
One
day while PC was sitting outside with his cousin Beau, sipping on some
of his famous honeydew vine water, they started talking about what to
do with the neglected Fairlane. Imaginations ran wild!
All kinds
of ideas were thrown about and all kinds of parts were dug out,
including a church organ-looking type of induction system. The
conversation quickly turned into a heated argument, which ended up in a
wager that Pork Chop couldn’t make his crazy idea work. PC started on
the Fairlane that night determined to make his wild induction system
work on the big block 427 he rebuilt.
The body was straightened
and primered. With a set of wheels, slicks and a modified suspension,
the drive train was ready to be installed. Once the motor and
transmission were in the car was ready to be started…or was it. PC
turned the key and it just cranked over and over but just wouldn’t
start. He was sure it was set up right but it just wouldn’t start.
Well
Pork Chop pushed the Fairlane outside the shop that night to make room
to work on customer’s cars. As it got later, the weather started to
change, clouds rolled in and suddenly it began to rain hard. Then it
began to thunder and lightning and there was just an eerie feeling in
the air. As PC went to look outside the shop a huge bolt of lightning
seeming almost like giant electric fingers struck the Fairlane! All of
a sudden the velocity stacks atop the 427 big block motor sucked in
gulps of cool air and the motor screamed to life as the mufflers did
all they could to hold back the brutal, almost evil sounds that burbled
from the Fairlane’s exhaust pipes.
Slowly Pork Chop walked over
to the roughly idling Fairlane and eased himself into the front seat.
One blip of the throttle and again the engine roared like nothing he’d
ever heard before. PC wide-eyed, sweating, borderline scared to death,
only managed to say two words, “It’s Alive!”.
He took his
“monster” out to the main road for a test drive. He mashed the throttle
and the front of the car came off the ground, must’ve been at least 2
feet he figured. It launched like nothing he’d ever driven before. He
almost soiled his overalls. After driving the car and being half scared
to death, PC noticed that the car seemed to have a mind of it’s own,
quirks that he just couldn’t explain. Word gets around easy in Pine Sap
and nobody but Pork Chop dared to even sit behind the wheel.
Facts & Photos
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